Crashing Into Business
by ShySofteeNerd
Summary: A sort-of crossover I thought up between the worlds of Amateur Surgeon and Diner Dash, an oddball mash-up indeed. It features two rookie students from one of the infamous Bleed Everywhere hospitals, who end up accidentally taking an unexpected trip very far from home. Surgical nonsense ensues on their sudden adventure. Planning on more chapters, maybe.
1. Chapter 1

It was a nice, calm morning in the aptly named DinerTown. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and-

**BOOM! CRACK! WOOSH!**

Suddenly, a slightly run-down ambulance with numerous flashing doohickeys attached to its roof and hood appears out of thin air, right in the middle of a currently empty road! Electricity fizzing from its body from the blink, the strange vehicle thunders onto the street with a loud thud, its tires screeching as the driver attempted to brake! "AHHHH! Hemorra! I told you not to press anything! I knew we shouldn't have done this! We're in for it now when our boss finds out!" A young male dressed in a doctor's uniform panicked as he had a death grip on the wheel. "Hey, I told ya I tripped on this big wire thing in the middle! I'm not like that hobo's dumb crow that likes shiny buttons, y'know, Ben! And c'mon, it looked cool on the inside! We HAD to see how it looked inside, too, it's only fair, right?!" his nurse Hemorra shouted, stomping her heel on said wire while her hands gripped the wheel to help Ben straighten the wild skidding ambulance. Hot skidmarks tracking the asphalt, the ambulance's tires screeched all the way down the street, narrowly dodging cars passing an intersection! "WE'RE GONNA DIEEEEEE! WAAAAAAAAH!" frail Ben screamed, heavy tears of fear jetting from his eyes. "OH, NO WE WON'T! Here, I saw this a thousand times on TV! Try...THIS!" Hemorra uses full force on the wheel, taking a sharp turn to the left. The ambulance rattles towards the curb, its rear-view mirror knocking down a couple trash cans. "Oh, look, this spot's perfect!" Hemorra shouts, taking another sharp turn into a semi-filled parking lot. It seemed as the ambulance was slowing down, just barely, its tires sparking. A figure was quickly zooming into view, appearing to be a blond spiky-haired businessman in a full power suit, who was just hopping out of his convertible while speaking on the phone, unaware of the rescue vehicle speeding right towards him. Just a few steps forward and...

**CRASH!**

The ambulance makes contact with the businessman's skinny body, catapulting him against his car's roof. His body then slid off, landing on the stone-hard ground. On a better note, the ambulance had finally halted. However, this did not alleviate Ben's wariness. "Oh my god, we just HIT someone!" he shrieks, biting his nails. "What?! No way! Sorry Benny, but this one's all you, dude!" Hemorra retorts, whipping her hands off the steering wheel. "HUH?! Now wait just a darned minute! We-!" Ben's about to say, but he turns to look out the window to see the accident caused. "Listen, we'll discuss this later! We gotta see if that man's alright!" he says as he takes a big medical bag out from the glove compartment. "Oh sweet, a new patient!" Hemorra chirps happily, following Ben out of the ambulance to the injured businessman's car. "Excuse me, sir?" Ben calls out, approaching the man on the ground, blood pooling from the side of his head. "Ouch, looks pretty bad! Let's see here..." Hemorra pulls the man's body facing forward, his head resting on her lap. "Oh wow, DOUBLE OUCH! There's a phone stuck in the side of his head and...pfft!" she giggles, pointing at his dazed, cross-eyed face.

"Aha, I guess that is pretty funny, but c'mon, we have no time to lose!" Ben drops his bag at his side as he kneels down beside the fresh patient, slipping on a pair of rubber gloves. He puts a JOG-O-MATIC stopwatch around the man's wrist, used to read a wearer's vitals. "Whew, he's still in the green! The phone's stuck in his temporal area, so we can't just pull it out from here, it'll probably cause permanent damage! We're gonna have to perform a neurosurgery!" he concludes, pulling out a pizza cutter from his bag. "Neurosurgery? Look at you, using smart big boy words already! That's my doctor!" Hemorra teases, pulling the bag to her side to hand Ben the right tool when necessary. Blushing moderately, he cleans up the blood with a sponge and marks the incision on the patient's head with marker, then, squinting his eyes apprehensively, he slices into the skin, the cutter's blade making a remarkably satisfying squishing sound. A bit of blood splashing on his cheek, Ben ventures further into the head. "Oh! It's stuck in this part of the skull! I'm gonna need-!" "Chainsaw!" Hemorra cuts in as she pulls a huge, orange-handled chainsaw from the bag. She yanks the chain, revving its engine to life! **VRRRRRM! VRRRRRM!** "Here ya go!" Hemorra hands over the chainsaw, its whirring blade right in front of Ben's face. "Ah, careful!" he yelps, taking the tool into his shaky hands. "Okay, I'm still kinda learning how to use this but...I can do it! I just gotta remember from class, keep it straight and neat or the patient's mince-meat!"

Steadying his hands, he creates an opening in the skull, gaining access to the brain. "I still can't believe I can fit this thing inside him!" Ben exclaims as he turns it off, observing the freshly made hole. "Alright. Now I just gotta..." Turning it on again, he succeeds in sawing out the phone with some brain on it, removing it with a pair of salad tongs. He then places the loose brain piece back into the whole, pushing it in with his finger. Using a lighter, he thoroughly sears the enter wound shut. Taking out a small jar of "Dr. Bleed's Pain Away", he swabs a glop with his gloved fingers and rubs it into the wound. With the gel seeping in, the wound healed in seconds, as if by magic, or just sheer medical genius! The phone extraction a success, it was time to close up the patient.

"Whew! That wasn't so bad!" Ben nervously laughs, laying a piece of medical tape over the incision. "Yes, surgery complete! Another job well done! We didn't even need to shave his hair! Oh, but wait, is he still supposed to have that funny look with his eyes?" Hemorra asks, sitting the businessman up. "Shoot, is he still in a bad way?! Oh no, I must have messed something up!" Ben's teeth met his rubbery nails. "Darn it, I'm such an amateur! I think we're gonna to have to call Dr. Pr- HEMORRA!" he squeals frightfully as he witnesses Hemorra place a nice, quick smack against the back of the businessman's head. This seems to work, thankfully, as the businessman's eyes twitch and squeeze shut as he shakes his head, before reopening them, back to their normal state. "Huh? Hey, what happened? Where am I?" he questions, looking around while rubbing his head. "Ow, what's with this big headache all of a sudden?" He notices the two rescuers in front of him, then looks at his car, then at the ambulance, then back to the rescuers. His hand slides down to his forehead, his fingers trailing the medical tape that covered his stitches.

"Sir, you've just sustained a massive brain injury from a car accident, but we were able to help you!" Ben explains. "How do you feel right now, Mister Businessman?" Hemorra asks, helping the semi-dumbfounded man up onto his feet. His knees wobble, his body still adjusting from the impact, but soon he maintains his balance. "I got a small headache, but other than that, I feel pretty good! Guess I was a little distracted while I was walkin', first time gettin' into something like this. Judgin' by this bandage, it must've been nasty," the man replies. "Thanks for the help! I owe ya one!" Ben smiles gratefully, nervously scratching the back of his neck. "You're quite welcome, sir! Eheh, it's the least we can do, since we're the ones who h-" Ben was interrupted by a sharp elbow to the arm by Hemorra. "What he means is, we're glad to be of service, just doing our job! Hee hee!" she finishes, wanting to avoid a potential lawsuit. _Thank god that guy's car didn't get dented, or we'd be dead meat_, she thinks. The man notices the name tags on Ben's and Hemorra's chests. "So, Dr. Ben and Nurse Hemorra..." he reads, eyeing their arm bands. "Bleed Everywhere Hospital? Hmmm, we don't got a hospital with that name in town. Are you guys visitors here in DinerTown?"

"Ah, well, yes. We got here by mistake, and we were just about to find a way back home," says Ben. "But we could use a place to stay for the time-being." Hemorra sidles up to Ben's side, giddily bunny-hopping. "Oh, almost like an unplanned vacation!" she cheers. "Can you show us around Mister Businessman?" The businessman's eyebrow arches with a cheeky smile. "Sorry, I gotta get to work! Matter of fact, I think I might be a couple minutes late!" He digs his hands into his back pockets, then his face goes pale. "Hey, where is it?! Where's my-?" "Phone? Right here, Mister! Straight out of your head, and in perfect condition, too!" Hemorra drops the man's phone into his waiting hands. "Ooooh, thank you! I wouldn't last another day without it!" He quickly skims over his phone before putting it back in his cozy pocket. "Hey, y'know, I can point you guys to the town's best hotel, if you're really plannin' to stay for awhile," he offers with a charming smile, one end of his lips twitching briefly. "Sounds lovely, we'll take it!" Hemorra immediately accepts, yearning for a nice, hot shower.

After giving the two helpful directions, the businessman hands Ben a business card while Hemorra hops back into the ambulance to start it up. "By the way, name's Colin. If ya ever need help with anything around town, let me know. I commute all over here for business! Oh, and here..." He hands over a big wad of cash, about 1,000 bucks! "Oh no, sir, I wouldn't wanna bother your work, and I couldn't take this," Ben initially rejects, pushing Colin's money-filled hand away. _We're the ones who got you hurt, after all_, he thought as he looked down at his feet. "C'mon, doc, don't be so modest! You saved my butt, and besides, it's good spending money for your first day here! You can enjoy some of the town's finest with this!" Colin insists, his eyes joyfully closed as he smiled, teeth shining brightly. Ben hesitates, still feeling a bit guilty for hitting Colin, but eventually he gives in and accepts the money. "Thanks, Mr. Colin. You're very kind." Colin clicks his grinning teeth twice, shooting Ben with a stunning finger gun. "No problem, and hey, no need for the formal stuff! Just call me Colin! Well, I better get goin'! Hope I don't get chewed out by Mr. Big for bein' a couple minutes late! See ya, Ben! Remember, call me if ya need anything!" He farewell salutes Ben, then power-walks to the tall corporate tower building. Mid-walk, Ben notices Colin's head twitch, which he hopes is just a short-term side effect of the surgery.

Ben hops into the drivers' seat and buckles in. "What a nice man he was, I would think a busy man like him would have been really upset," he says, sighing in relief. "I'm glad we were able to help him!" "Hee hee, me too! Another satisfied customer! I saw that he paid you a lotta money! I think that's the most we ever made for our first couple days as rookies!" Hemorra gets in her seat, leaning the seat back before buckling up. "Well then, you remember those directions he gave us, right? Let's get going! I'm ready to relax after such a crazy day!" Ben nods, thinking to himself, It's been an eventful day, for sure! Thanks to them, a young businessman was late for his job, but he was also able to make it to work alive in the first place on the same day, thanks to them. Now they'd have to figure out how to get back to their hometown, but it'd be good to settle down somewhere first. Ben turned on the radio as he drove on to the next destination: DinerTown Suites.


	2. Chapter 2

"Wheeee! Haah haaaah! Wooooo! I'm queen of the hill!" Hemorra was bouncing on the bed doing flips as if she were on the moon. "Hemorra! You shouldn't be doing that! H-Haven't you heard of that song with the monkeys jumping on the bed!?" Ben can't help but worry as he exits the bathroom after washing his hands. "But what the heck are hotel beds for then!? Let me have my fun!" she pouts with a tongue out, still jumping until her foot slips, causing her body to fall off the bed. Thankfully there was another bed across where she fell, so she had a soft landing much to Ben's relief, but it's shattered when Hemorra begins to weep. "Owwww! Owie my arm, it hurts!" she whines, rubbing her arm as she looks downward, covering part of her face as she weeps. Ben rushes to her side, worried sick. "Oh my god! Did you twist it? Don't worry, I'll see if ther-!" **PLOP!** Ben's face is met with a pillow! "Haha! Got you, you worry-wart!" Hemorra teases, laughing as Ben slowly peeped at her from the pillow annoyed.

**CRASH!**

The two amateur medical students are alerted by a loud sound outside their room. They look at each other briefly, then nod and head towards the door together. Ben peeks his head out as he opens the door, looking for the source of the sound. He's shocked to find a child with short dark hair in overalls beside a broken vase and spilled water, who appears to be hugging his knees with muffled sobs. Ben runs up to the child, Hemorra right behind him with his medical bag. "Awww, are you alright, little guy? What happened?" He kneels beside the child, looking for any sign of injury. The child lifts his head up, revealing a big gash in one of his knees, likely from a stray vase shard. "Yikes, looks like someone had a little accident! Seems minor, though, this should be a snap!" Hemorra says, handing Ben a bottle of disinfectant, a small rag and a stapler from the bag. "Yeah, you'll be better in no time! Don't worry!" Ben smiles warmly, making the sniffling child lighten up. "O-Okay!" is all he could muster at the moment.

"This is going to sting a little, okay? We have to make sure there are no icky germs in there!" Ben explains, dabbing a small amount of the disinfectant onto the rag. "Oh, my mommy uses that for when I get ouchies! I-I can handle it, I won't cry! Honest!" the kid ensures, squeezing his eyes shut as he braces for the sting. He does a small squeal as Ben applies the disinfectant on the wound, winces as he staples the cut shut, then finally relaxes as he applies healing gel. The gel felt so soothing, ridding all pain from the now closed up injury, which Ben covered with a small band-aid riddled with familiar undersea cartoon characters. "Wow, it's like the cut was never even there! How'd you do that? Are you a magician?" the child asks, hopping onto his feet. Ben is about to speak, when Hemorra hugs him from the side. "Something like that! He always has super cool tricks up his sleeve! The best part is, he's also a doctor surgeon! DOCTOR SURGEON MAGICIAN BEN!" She grins proudly, satisfied with her answer.

"Hemorraaaaa!" Ben shys up, rubbing his arm. But alas the child was impressed, his eyes sparkling as he looked up at Ben. "You're really cool, doctor surgeon magician Ben! Thank you for fixing my ouchie!" Ben chuckles timidly, then reaches into one of his pockets, pulling out a multi-colored lollipop in its wrapper. "And thank you for being cooperative! You were really brave." He hands the lollipop to the child, who accepts it with glee. "Wow, thanks! This is the best day ever!" He is about to say something else, until he turns at the call of "Kingston" from down the hall. "Oh, that's my mom! I gotta go! Bye doctor surgeon magician Ben and miss nurse lady!" And away he went, skedaddling around the end of the hall.

"Heh, he really liked you, Ben! You're really getting the hang of this doctor thing!" "I-It's nothing, really! But hey, how do you think that kid got into that accident in the first pl-?" A shrilling scream echoes from the nearby staircase. "Sounds like we're not done yet! C'mon!" Hemorra grabs Ben's hand, leading him downstairs. Ben noticed there was water trailing all the way down. They arrive at the bottom to find a woman with long red hair beside what appeared to be a comatose clown. Ben cringes as he notices the clown's leg, which is bent way more than a human's leg should bend. The woman was holding a skateboard, it's wheels riddled with water. "Ugh, not again! That kid slips one past me and this happens. I really think I need to order some security around this place," she grumbles, tapping her foot. "Hey, that's the lady that checked us in! Quinn, right?" Hemorra whispers to Ben. That's when the red-haired receptionist notices them. "Oh, sorry! There's been an accident, as you can see." She gestures at the clown with the skateboard. "Was there something you needed?"

"Nah, were we just checking to see what the heck happened down here! Was there a circus freakout or something?" Hemorra asks, to which Quinn shakes her head. "No, well, you see, one of the little kids here decided it'd be a cool idea to ride his skateboard inside the hotel, even though I've warned him plenty of times before not to do it. One of the clowns that was staying here tripped on it and fell down the stairs. That's what I'm assuming happened anyway, since I was at my desk when I heard all the commotion." Ben kneels beside the fallen clown, who is stirring from his dazed state. The clown silently takes in his surroundings, scratching his head puzzled, then chuckles nervously as he tries to get up, but due to his abnormally bent leg all he accomplishes is sitting upwards, unable to stand up. He frowns, honking his bright red nose sadly before shrugging. "Oh no, I think he may have a broken leg!" Quinn bites the back of her pen. "I think I'll have to call the ambulance...wait...those arm bands. Are you guys doctors? Do you think you can lend a helping hand, please?"

"O-Of course! It won't be a problem!" Ben rolls up his sleeves and puts on a pair of rubber gloves. With that, Hemorra takes out a canister connected to a mask by a couple of thin tubes. "Alrighty, I know you just woke up and all, but we're gonna need you to kinda go back to sleep, mister clown sir!" She places the mask on the clown's face, who looks super curious. Hemorra turns the knobs on the canister, letting loose the anesthesia from inside to fill the mask. Soon the clown is in slumber once more. "He's all yours, doc!" she says as she steps aside for Ben to do his work.

"Okay, here we go...first things first!" Starting with the basics, Ben uses his trusty pizza cutter to enter deep into the clown's leg area. From within, Ben encountered the clown's leg bone, which was currently snapped in half. "Oh gosh, what a fracture! Okay, so, if I remember correctly, since the bone itself doesn't seem to have too much major damage, all I have to do is mend the bone. I just have to remember how..." Ben thinks for a moment, rubbing his temple trying to remember what his mentor had taught him from class. Then it hits him as Hemorra tosses the lighter and Pain Away on his lap. He thinks a little more, observing the two items given to him. Confident in his mind now, he carefully straightens the clown's leg, a little grossed out by the squishy, cracking noises as he did. _Ew, ew, ew,! ...Oh, come on, you're a surgeon, it's no big deal!_ he berates himself in his head. With a bit of fiddling, he's able to fit the two bone parts together like a puzzle piece. "So, like this, right?" With Hemorra holding the leg to keep the bone together firmly, Ben flicks on the lighter, setting its flame atop the middle. Though it took a bit of time, the bone began to meld like metal, mending the crack. The two amateur students watched, completely awestruck. It was like medical science happening right in front before them (even if it was done with strange ethics)! Now all that was left was the gelling.

"Can you believe how far medicine has advanced?" Ben asks as he gels the mended crack, which gradually heals the bone. "Yeah, it's as if there was no broken bone at all now!" Hemorra agrees. "The man who made this gel was named Dr. Bleed, right?" "Yes. He was Dr. Probe's mentor, it's just too bad he's gone now, but he's really left his mark as the greatest surgeon to ever live using tools like this." Ben explains, taking one last look at the fully mended leg bone before closing up. "Maybe after all your studying, you'll grow up to be as great as him," Hemorra replies as she removes the mask from the clown's face. "Nah, you're pulling my leg, there's no way!" "You never know! Anyways, that's three patients we've managed to help in this town! We're doing good for a couple of freshmen rookies, huh?" Hemorra cheers, putting away all the tools and equipment as Ben threw his gloves in his bag. He's startled by Quinn tapping his shoulder. She was watching silently the whole time that he forgot she was even there!

"D-Did you really just fix that guy's leg with just a lighter and gel!? That's...!" Before she can finish, a flower on the clown's chest sets off a stream of water, splashing all over his face. This causes the clown to regain consciousness, rubbing his eyes. "Huh!? How'd he wake up so quickly?!" Ben exclaims. "Anesthesia usually doesn't wear off until a couple hours, I thought!" The clown stretches his arms and legs, then hops back onto his squeaky feet. He looks at Ben and the ladies, smiles, waves, then turns on his heels and walks up the stairs as if nothing had happened! "He recovered that quickly?!" Quinn's shouts in surprise, gawking at the clown squeaking up the stairs, then she turns to Ben and Hemorra. "I have to say, I'm impressed! Usually something like that would require weeks to heal!" "Well, we come from Bleed Everywhere back in our hometown. It's kind of an ille- uhhhh, I mean...private hospital with the highest quality medical equipment and such! Our higher-ups have made medical advancements of the future there!" Hemorra is quick to back up Ben's statement, nodding eagerly. "Yep, we're students there and I can say that soon we're gonna have a cure to all types of diseases! Right, Ben?" "Ahahaha, you could say that..."

Quinn, feeling relieved that a crisis was averted, flips her bangs aside. "That sounds splendid! Well, I can't thank you enough for helping one of our customers! I gotta pay you back somehow, no exceptions! Hm, how would you like free room service? Deal?" Quinn offers, extending her hand, which Hemorra shakes without a seconds hesitation. "Gladly! Thank you very much! Did you hear that, Ben? Free food! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" she cheers, hugging Ben as she hops feverishly like a child on a hyper streak. Ben emits a sheepish chuckle, smiling without a word as Hemorra continues to bounce.


End file.
